Suzanne Prince

How many versions of yourself have you tried to kill off just because they weren’t appreciated where you happened to be standing?

That question goes somewhere uncomfortable when you really answer it.

Maybe you became less emotional because somebody kept making you feel ridiculous for caring so deeply. You stopped talking about certain dreams because you got tired of watching people’s faces while you talked about them. You made your work cheaper because enough people hesitated at the price. You toned down your confidence because somebody called it intimidating. You became incredibly undemanding in relationships and somehow ended up proud of how little you needed.

There are so many ways to conclude that something is wrong with you when actually you’re getting information about the room you’re standing in.

I’ve seen brilliant women become almost obsessed with improving themselves when they weren’t the bloody problem in the first place. Another book, another course, another attempt to communicate better, another conversation where they try to find exactly the right words so somebody might finally understand them. There comes a point where you have to wonder how much more emotionally intelligent you need to become before admitting that the person sitting opposite you simply isn’t meeting you there.

The same thing happens with work. You can be exceptionally good at what you do and still struggle to sell it to people who don’t understand its value. Stay around them for long enough and you’ll start questioning your prices, your ability, your business and probably your entire bloody existence. Put that same work in front of somebody who has been looking for exactly what you do and suddenly the conversation is completely different.

Your work didn’t magically become better on Tuesday.

The room changed.

I think we underestimate how much our environment teaches us about ourselves, and how dangerous that can become when we assume everybody around us is an accurate mirror.

They’re not.

Somebody can experience your confidence as arrogance while somebody else finds it inspiring. One person will find your depth exhausting and another will sit talking to you until three in the morning because they’ve finally met someone who wants to go there. Somebody will think you’re too ambitious while another person wonders why you’re playing so small. You can be called difficult for having boundaries in one place and respected for exactly the same boundaries somewhere else.

None of that means we never have to look at ourselves. Sometimes we ARE the problem. I actually think there’s something incredibly powerful about being able to admit when you’ve behaved badly, fu**ed something up or need to change.

Self-awareness becomes something else entirely, though, when every uncomfortable experience automatically ends with you putting yourself on trial.

Maybe you’ve done enough of that.

There are relationships where you can spend years trying to become easier to love. You ask for less, forgive faster, make excuses for things that hurt you and gradually lower your expectations until the bare minimum starts looking surprisingly generous. Eventually somebody gives you slightly more than nothing and you’re grateful.

Then one day you experience something healthier and it can almost p**s you off.

You realise how hard you worked for crumbs.

You realise how many conversations you had trying to explain things another person seems to understand without a fu***ng diagram.

You realise that feeling wanted is very different from repeatedly trying to persuade somebody of your value.

That can bring grief with it, because there’s suddenly a version of your past that looks different. You remember all the times you went home wondering what was wrong with you. The nights you replayed conversations. The opportunities you didn’t take. The things you stopped wearing, saying, asking for or expecting. Maybe even the years you spent trying to improve a woman who would have flourished perfectly well somewhere else.

That hurts.

There’s something beautiful on the other side of it though.

You stop walking into every room asking, consciously or otherwise, Do you like me?

You start noticing whether you like the room.

Whether you can breathe there. Whether your ideas get bigger or smaller there. Whether you leave conversations feeling energised or vaguely s**t about yourself. Whether you’re celebrated when something good happens or immediately feel the need to make it sound less exciting. Whether you’re constantly translating yourself into a language everybody else finds easier to digest.

Maybe belonging was never supposed to require that much editing.

A flower doesn’t become more worthy when somebody finally puts it in decent soil. It was always capable of blooming.

It just needed somewhere that didn’t make survival its full-time job.

There may be parts of you that you’ve spent years trying to change that were never asking to be fixed at all. They were waiting for different people, different conversations, different opportunities, different love, maybe an entirely different life.

Suzanne X

OCTOBER. WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?

I know you’re feeling it because I’m feeling it. My clients are feeling it. Women I’m speaking to every bloody day are feeling it. October is INTENSE. There’s so much shifting, surfacing, ending, beginning, being questioned and being dragged out into the open that it’s difficult to know which way is fu***ng up some days.

If you’re absolutely exhausted for no obvious reason, your energy feels blocked or heavy, your emotions are all over the place, you can’t switch your brain off, old s**t is coming back up, you’re questioning things you were perfectly comfortable with three weeks ago, you feel restless in your own life, you know something needs to change but can’t work out what, or you’d simply quite like someone to make sense of WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON... I’ve got exactly what you need tonight.

I’m doing a special offer combining distant healing with a card reading. This is going to be a MEGA energetic clear-out and boost, followed by a proper dive into your cards to see what’s happening underneath everything you’re experiencing right now. What’s shifting. What needs to go. What’s trying to come through. Where your energy is getting stuck. What you’re not seeing yet. I want you coming out of it feeling clearer, lighter, recharged and with some bloody insight into why everything feels so intense.

If October has already chewed you up, spat you out and we’re only SIX DAYS IN, come here. 😂

Message me OCTOBER and I’ll send you the special-offer details. 🔥

**Every family has at least one woman who eventually f***s up the entire system by getting healthy.**

I love that idea because we talk about breaking family patterns as though everyone around us will be delighted when we do it. You’ll have a few revelations, learn to love yourself properly, put some boundaries in place and the whole family will cheer you on from the sidelines. The reality can look very different when people were quite comfortable with who you were before.

It’s amazing what starts looking different once you properly examine your own life. Things you’ve accepted for years suddenly make you think, hang on, why ARE we all okay with this? You hear “that’s just how they are” for the hundredth time and realise an entire family has been expected to accommodate one person’s behaviour rather than ever expecting that person to change it. There are things families become so used to working around that eventually nobody remembers they’re working around them.

Growing up inside it makes it even harder to see. There isn’t another family running alongside yours for comparison, so whatever happens at home becomes your version of normal. You learn the atmosphere without even realising you’re learning it. You work out who can be challenged, which subjects change the mood in a room, when it’s better to keep something to yourself. Sometimes you become so bloody good at reading people that you know somebody’s mood from the way they’ve walked through the front door.

Years later, somebody tells you that you’re incredibly intuitive and you think, well yeah, I’ve been reading the room since I was six.

I find that side of healing fascinating because some of the things we’re most proud of in ourselves can look completely different when we understand where they came from. Being fiercely independent sounds fantastic until asking for help makes you deeply uncomfortable. Being the reliable one feels like a compliment until you realise everybody comes to you and you don’t really go to anybody. Even being easygoing can make you wonder whether you genuinely don’t mind, or whether at some point in your life you discovered that having fewer needs made everything easier.

You can get surprisingly far into adulthood without questioning any of this.

Something can happen that suddenly makes you look at yourself differently. It could be a relationship ending, becoming a mother, getting older, therapy, healing work, or simply reaching the point where you’re exhausted by your own patterns. Sometimes it’s ridiculously small. You hear yourself apologising for something that doesn’t require an apology and catch it for the first time. You notice how much explaining you do when you say no. You realise you’re already worrying about somebody else’s reaction to a decision you haven’t even made yet.

That’s when family dynamics can get really interesting, because changing something tiny in yourself can expose an enormous amount about the relationships around you. Taking an hour before replying instead of immediately agreeing to something can upset a dynamic that has existed for twenty years. Saying “I’m not comfortable with that” can sound almost revolutionary when everybody is used to you being comfortable with absolutely everything. You can discover that what you thought was harmony actually involved one person doing a huge amount of adjusting behind the scenes.

There’s a strange moment when somebody tells you that you’ve changed and, for the first time, you don’t hear it as an accusation.

You know you have.

Women have been especially well trained in this stuff. We’re praised for being thoughtful, accommodating, forgiving, emotionally aware and capable of seeing everybody else’s point of view. Somehow we’re also expected to know ourselves deeply, have excellent boundaries, follow our dreams and build lives that make us happy, preferably without disappointing anybody while we’re doing it.

Good luck with that.

One of the harder things to realise is that some people genuinely did find the older version of you easier to be around. That doesn’t automatically make them awful people. Sometimes a relationship has simply been built around a version of you that doesn’t exist anymore, and now both of you are having to find out whether there’s still a relationship when you stop doing all the things that used to hold it together.

This is why the words on this picture got me.

**She changed what came next.**

That’s huge when you really think about it.

A woman can go looking for answers because she doesn’t understand why relationships keep hurting, why receiving feels harder than giving, why she can run herself into the ground for everybody else but feel selfish doing something purely for herself. She can spend years believing these things are personal flaws, then start pulling at one little thread and discover the bloody thing runs through half the family.

Suddenly she can see her mum in it. Maybe her grandmother too. She remembers conversations differently. Things women in her family laughed about don’t seem particularly funny anymore. Choices she once judged begin to make more sense. She starts seeing how beliefs, fears and ways of coping can quietly travel through a family without anybody ever sitting down and deliberately passing them on.

That’s where this becomes so much bigger than one woman trying to sort herself out.

A daughter can grow up watching her mum have an opinion without apologising for it. Children can learn that adults are allowed to get things wrong and properly own it afterwards. They can experience disagreement without wondering whether love is about to disappear. They might never learn that guilt is part of loving somebody in the first place.

Their version of normal becomes different.

I think about that a lot.

We hear so much about generational trauma, but there’s another side to it that I find incredibly moving. There must be families walking around now where something painful has already ended and the younger people in that family don’t even know it ended. They just experience the freedom that somebody before them had to fight incredibly hard to create.

Some woman somewhere decided she wasn’t staying in the marriage.

Another one finally talked about what happened.

Somebody went to therapy when her whole family thought it was ridiculous.

Somebody stopped hitting her children even though she’d been hit herself.

Somebody chose the woman she loved.

Somebody went back to university at forty-five.

Somebody decided her daughter would never hear the things about her body that she’d heard about hers.

Somebody stopped confusing suffering with loyalty.

There are probably thousands of ordinary moments like that happening in families all the time, and nobody realises they’re watching history change because it doesn’t look dramatic enough while it’s happening.

The woman doing it probably doesn’t feel particularly brave either. She might feel terrified. She might be lying awake wondering whether she’s making a terrible mistake. She might have people telling her she’s selfish, difficult, dramatic or that they “don’t recognise her anymore”. She might miss people she knows she can’t go back to. She might be trying to build a completely different life while still carrying parts of the old one around inside her.

That’s why I don’t think the woman who changes what comes next always looks like the strong one while she’s doing it.

Sometimes she looks like the one whose life has fallen apart.

It may take years before anyone can see that it was actually falling into place.

There could be a woman in your family one day who speaks freely because nobody ever taught her to swallow her voice. She might leave when something hurts her instead of believing staying makes her strong. She might ask for what she needs without rehearsing the conversation twenty times first. She might love whoever she loves without wondering whether she’s allowed. She might take up space in her own life so naturally that it never occurs to her that women before her had to learn how.

She might never know what it cost to make that normal for her.

She’ll just know that she’s allowed.

Maybe you’ve spent years wondering why you’ve always been the one who couldn’t just leave things alone, why certain things bothered you when everybody else seemed able to carry on, or why you reached a point where you simply couldn’t keep living in the way that was expected of you.

Maybe this picture has just given you a completely different way of looking at yourself.

**The woman who changed what came next might be you.**

If you felt something when you read that, tell me. You don’t need to explain your whole family history underneath a Facebook post. You can simply write, **“It’s me.”**

Suzanne X

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WOW .... how crazy is this energy right now? Its all happening for a reason.. the migraines, the sleepless nights, the upheaval. For the next 24hrs I'm concentrating on giving instant support as its only going to get crazier!!
So I'm offering mini distant healing or full distant healing sessions for anything physically or emotional going on.. including protect from people. Plus mini spiritual readings & full spiritual readings for help with anything you're struggling with, like relationships, manifesting, self worth etc. Both bring peace of mind, a clearer plan, a goods nights rest and clear energetic blocks. Message me to book. Suzanne xx