Mindset Solutions Counselling

You can love being a parent and still miss who you were before becoming one.

Becoming a parent can bring incredible joy — but it can also bring overwhelm, guilt, identity changes, relationship challenges, and the pressure to somehow get everything right.

And sometimes the hardest question isn't “Am I a good parent?”

It's “Who am I now?”

My newest blog explores how different therapy approaches — including CBT, Narrative Therapy, IFS, Solution-Focused Therapy, ACT, and Emotion-Focused Therapy — can help with the transition into parenthood.

Because becoming a parent doesn't mean losing yourself.

It means figuring out how to make room for who you were, who you are, and who you're becoming.

👉 Read the full blog:
https://www.mindsetsolutionscounselling.ca/blog/becoming-a-parent-changes-everything-which-therapy-approach-can-help

✨ October Updates from Mindset Solutions Counselling -

✨ October Updates from Mindset Solutions Counselling This month, I had the opportunity to attend the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta (PAA) conference in Leduc. I came away with a renewed appreciation for how much our environment, relationships, and everyday routines shape psychological wellbeing. One theme that stood out was how powerful small...

🌿 Pondering Sunday: You Can Grieve a Life That Isn't Gone

Not all grief comes from losing a person.

Sometimes we grieve a version of our life.

The career we thought we'd have.
The relationship we thought would last.
The family life we imagined.
The person we thought we would become.
The children being little.
The independence we once had.

And sometimes, even when a change was the right decision, there can still be grief.

This can be confusing.

You may think:

“I'm the one who chose this.”

“So why am I struggling?”

“I know this is the right thing, so why do I feel sad?”

Because knowing something is right doesn't mean it isn't also difficult.

Life transitions often require us to hold two truths at once:
I can be ready for something new and still miss what I'm leaving behind.

Therapy can help you process that grief rather than rushing yourself through it.

You can learn to:
🌱 name and validate complicated emotions
🌱 make space for grief without becoming consumed by it
🌱 separate acceptance from giving up
🌱 identify what you are carrying forward
🌱 create meaning from difficult experiences
🌱 begin imagining what you want your next chapter to look like

Healing doesn't always mean forgetting the past.

Sometimes it means being able to look back with compassion while still moving forward.

You are allowed to miss what was.

And you are allowed to build something new. 🌿❤️

🌿 Pondering Sunday: When Did You Stop Listening to Yourself?

Sometimes a life transition brings a surprising realization:

You have become very good at taking care of everyone else — but you aren't sure what you need anymore.

This can happen during parenting, relationship changes, career transitions, or years of putting other people's needs first.

You may find yourself saying:

“I don't know what I want.”

“I don't even know what makes me happy anymore.”

“I feel guilty when I do something for myself.”

“I've spent so long being what everyone needed me to be.”

Over time, this can affect confidence, boundaries, relationships, and your sense of identity. 💭

Therapy can help you reconnect with yourself.

You can learn to:
🌱 identify your values
🌱 recognize your emotional needs
🌱 set boundaries without excessive guilt
🌱 understand where people-pleasing comes from
🌱 communicate what you need
🌱 develop greater trust in your own decisions

This isn't about becoming selfish.

It's about understanding that your needs matter too.

When you become more connected to yourself, relationships can become healthier because you are no longer expecting others to guess what you need — and you are less likely to lose yourself trying to keep everyone else happy.

You begin making decisions that feel more aligned with who you are.

You begin noticing when something doesn't feel right.

And slowly, you develop something incredibly important:

self-trust. ❤️

You don't need to completely reinvent yourself.

Sometimes you simply need to start listening to the person who has been there all along.

A lot can change at once.

A career shift.
A child leaving home.
A relationship changing.
A routine that no longer feels familiar.
A growing sense that the next chapter is here, but you are not quite sure what it should look like.

Life transitions can bring excitement, but they can also bring anxiety, uncertainty, pressure, and a loss of direction.

For many people, the instinct is to push through, stay busy, and figure it out alone. Counselling can offer a space to slow things down, make sense of what is changing, and work through what comes next.

At Mindset Solutions Counselling, support is available for people navigating:

• Career changes and workplace stress
• Empty nest transitions
• Major life changes
• Anxiety and overwhelm
• Identity and purpose
• Relationship and family changes
• Feeling stuck or unsure of the next step

You do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out.

If you are entering a new chapter and want support in finding clarity, direction, or steadiness, counselling may be a helpful place to start.

Mindset Solutions Counselling
Strathmore, Calgary, and online across Alberta

Your child left home. Now what?

Everyone talks about preparing your child for independence.

But what about preparing you?

An empty nest can bring freedom and excitement — but also grief, loneliness, and a surprising question:

“Who am I now?”

It may not just be about missing your child. It can be about finding your identity again.

In my latest blog, I explore 5 therapy approaches that can help you navigate empty nesting and create a meaningful next chapter.

👉 Read the blog: https://www.mindsetsolutionscounselling.ca/blog/empty-nesting-which-therapy-approach-might-help-you-find-yourself-again

🌿 Pondering Sunday: When Starting Over Feels Overwhelming

Starting over sounds exciting when we say it from a distance.

But when you're actually in it?

It can feel terrifying.

A new job.
A separation.
A move.
Becoming a parent.
Children leaving home.
A career change.
A relationship ending.
A new stage of life.

Even positive changes can create anxiety because familiar doesn't always mean happy — but it does mean predictable.

During major transitions, people often tell me:

“I don't know what I'm supposed to do next.”

“I feel like I'm failing.”

“Why can't I just handle this?”

“I should be enjoying this.”

These thoughts can add another layer of pressure to an already difficult adjustment. 💭

Therapy can help you develop practical tools for navigating uncertainty rather than trying to eliminate it.

You can learn how to:
🧠 recognize anxious thought patterns
🧠 challenge unhelpful “should” statements
🧠 break overwhelming problems into manageable steps
🧠 regulate emotions when things feel uncertain
🧠 identify what is within your control
🧠 make decisions without needing absolute certainty

The benefit isn't that life suddenly becomes predictable.

It's that you become more confident in your ability to handle what comes next.

Instead of asking, “How do I make sure everything works out?”

You can begin asking:

“What do I need today, and what is the next step I can take?”

You don't need to have the entire path figured out.

Sometimes you just need enough clarity to take the next step. 🌱

🌿 Pondering Sunday: When Life Changes You

Sometimes a life transition isn't something you chose.

A relationship ends.
Your children grow up.
You become a parent.
You leave a career you once loved.
You move somewhere new.
Your identity starts to change.
Or perhaps the life you worked so hard to build simply doesn't feel right anymore.

And suddenly, you find yourself thinking:

**“I don't know who I am anymore.”**

Life transitions can bring anxiety, grief, uncertainty, overwhelm, and even a sense of losing yourself. You may know that something needs to change, but have no idea what comes next. 💭

Therapy can provide a space to slow down and understand what is happening beneath the uncertainty.

You can learn to:
🌱 identify what you actually value
🌱 separate your needs from other people's expectations
🌱 manage uncertainty without needing all the answers
🌱 recognize the beliefs that are keeping you stuck
🌱 rebuild confidence in your own decision-making
🌱 create a new sense of direction

The goal isn't necessarily to return to who you were before the transition.

Sometimes the work is about discovering who you are becoming.

And with greater self-awareness and clarity, decisions can start to feel less overwhelming. You can begin making choices based on your values rather than fear, guilt, or what you think you *should* be doing.

A transition may have changed your life.

It doesn't have to take away your sense of self. ❤️

🎉 Pondering Sunday Reflection – 40 Years of Learning

Today is a little different.

Today, I turn 40. 🎂

Birthdays often encourage us to reflect—not just on where we've been, but on who we've become.

As a psychologist, I spend much of my week helping others navigate life's challenges. Yet like everyone else, I've had my own experiences of uncertainty, change, setbacks, and growth. Looking back, I don't think I'd tell my younger self to avoid the difficult moments. Instead, I'd remind her that those moments would shape the resilience, compassion, and perspective she would one day offer to others.

One thing I've learned over the past 40 years is that growth rarely happens in giant leaps. More often, it happens through small, consistent choices.

🌿 Choosing to ask for help.
🌿 Choosing to set a boundary.
🌿 Choosing to forgive yourself.
🌿 Choosing to take a walk when your mind feels overwhelmed.
🌿 Choosing to keep going, even when progress feels slow.

These small decisions often become the turning points we only recognise in hindsight.

As I celebrate this milestone, I'm incredibly grateful—for my family, my clients who trust me with their stories, the colleagues I've learned alongside, and everyone who has supported Mindset Solutions Counselling throughout this journey.

If today gives you a reason to pause, I'd encourage you to ask yourself:

💚 What have I learned about myself this past year?
💚 What am I ready to let go of?
💚 What do I want to make more room for in the year ahead?

You don't have to wait for a birthday or New Year to begin making changes. Every day offers the opportunity to take one small step toward the life you want.

Here's to embracing the next decade with curiosity, gratitude, and continued growth. Thank you for being part of the journey. 💚

🌳 Pondering Sunday Reflection

When life feels overwhelming, our instinct is often to stay inside and withdraw.

Yet spending time outdoors can gently remind us to slow down, breathe, and reconnect.

Walk-and-talk therapy offers an opportunity to combine professional psychological support with the restorative effects of being outside. While nature isn't a replacement for therapy, it can provide a calming environment that helps many people feel more relaxed and present during sessions.

🌿 Fresh air.
🌿 Gentle movement.
🌿 Open space.
🌿 Meaningful conversation.

Sometimes those simple ingredients create room for important breakthroughs.

During a walk-and-talk session, we'll move at a comfortable pace while exploring the thoughts, emotions, and experiences that matter most to you. There is no pressure to perform, no expectation to have everything figured out, and no "right" way to participate.

Healing isn't always about making huge changes overnight.

Often it's about taking one manageable step...
then another...
and another.

This week, consider spending even 10 minutes outdoors without your phone.

Notice:
🍃 What do you hear?
🍃 What do you notice?
🍃 How does your body feel?
🍃 What thoughts keep returning?

Awareness is often the first step toward change.

Whether your next step is simply taking a walk or booking your first therapy session, every journey starts somewhere.

Have a peaceful Sunday. 🌼